Saturday, November 23, 2013

Pre-Thanksgiving Holiday to-do List (s)

Well, I'm not going to wait until 11:30 tonight to write today's blog post.

Waiting until 11:30 last evening didn't really work out well for me, but yesterday was sort of a bad day, maybe the worst day in a short series of successive suck days in a row, so I'm letting it be okay.

I'm thinking about all the stuff that needs to be done before Thanksgiving.

1) clean oven

Hey wait, do I really need to clean the oven? Perhaps the smoldering black residue in the oven will impart a nice smoky flavor to the turkey. It sounds fucking gourmet. 

Screw oven cleaning then. I'm going to cross that off the list and add smoked fucking gourmet turkey to the menu. 

New #1)  clean out fridge

I really have to do that because the inside of my fridge is a horror show of errant dog hairs, pinkish congealed tacky spills, and other scary shit. People not part of my immediate family may be opening my fridge this Thanksgiving, people I admire, so I must clean the fridge and then act all casual, Hey, my fridge always looks so damn good. Love me. 

2) Organize pots and pans cupboard. See New #1, change the word fridge to cupboard. 

3) Do lots of other stuff

Number three is vague. It's the most difficult item on the list. I will spend my time running around in circles and accomplishing nothing in order to address item #3. I will probably spend the rest of my life on it. 

But before I get going on this list, I think I'll start another list: 

1) Advil. Many. I must take them

2) Coffee. Another please. 

3) Anything else I can think of to keep me from the first list, which ironically is also #3 on the first list. 

4) Conclude it's all a tangle but everything is connected and it just doesn't matter because it all matters...

5) so I might as well just go take a nap and feel okay about it

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