possible blog material

possible blog posts for blogtober:

15 things you don't know about my left nut:

1. I don't have a left nut

2.  I do not even have a right nut

As I can only get to #2, this idea needs fleshing out before I commit to it. Hahaha...fleshing out. 

some things you don't know about my cat

1. I have a cat

2. she's a cat 

3. she does cat things

4. she shits in a box

 

15 things I want to change about myself

1. fuck this shit

2. seriously

3. back off

4. you do not want to go down this path

5. really

One billion (maybe this is too ambitious) observations made while sitting on the toilet

 1. someone should really mop the floor

 2. I need to get some new reading material in here, 

 3. I think the new Oprah magazine was in yesterday's mail

 4. there are only so many times you can read about living your best life while sitting on the shitter

 5. reading recipes while using the bathroom is sort of weird

 6. making a grocery list while occupied in the bathroom is also weird

 7. if anyone asks where I got the idea for savory squash and endive panade  I will not say, "in the            bathroom". 

 8. I actually just made that dish up, it is not a real thing

 9. I do not really know what a panade is 

10. I do not like endive

11. I'm not actually on the toilet right now, 

I should put this one on the back burner until later...probably tomorrow morning around 7:30

10 ways to lose at everything

1. uh...

10 ways to feel like a winner

1. uh...

One important thing you need to know this moment, this exact moment, THIS moment...NOW:

1. I forgot. Sorry.

Tomorrow I'll be back on my feet and able to write a really blockbuster blogtober blog post. You just wait and see. 

Five reason I may not be on my feet tomorrow and able to write a really blockbuster post

1. my tween-ager

2. my teenager

3. my octogenarian mother

4. fuck-tons of laundry

5. brain drought 

Tomorrow then. I'll try again tomorrow.