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Top Ten Lists and Beauty Secrets of the Perpetually Depressed

As a long term depressed person, the most compelling material I have is not exactly compelling. I don't get out much and I don't do anything when I stay in. This lifestyle does not make for scintillating content. So I did a simple Google search for blog ideas, and I pilfered.

Top 10 lists are big, beauty and fashion blogs are big, these are not my personal go-tos for material, but I found myself oddly inspired.

Even when I'm feeling well, the topic of beauty and personal grooming doesn't come up. When people think of me, which, you know, is not exactly often, but if I do cross a mind, I'm pretty sure the first thought isn't, "My, that woman is well groomed and so well put together." Pretty sure. Pretty damn sure.

Beauty secrets of the chronically depressed: There is no beauty going on here people, unless you call 16 hours of heavy mouth breathing drool sleep a day "beauty sleep", then there's that.

Here's a tip: Shower sometimes. If you can't remember the last time you showered, you're overdue. So go take a damn shower already. However, maybe the buildup of all that face grease is an anti-wrinkle treatment. You could claim that, own it, and pretend that not bathing is a choice.

Which deodorant do I recommend to kill the stench when you've gone too long between showers? I reach for the Old Spice. Sure it's for the dudes, but trust me, I needed an upgrade, if you're depressed and finding personal hygiene nearly impossible, try the dude pit schmear, you'll thank me, your friends will thank me.

How to comb your hair so it doesn't look as greasy or matted? On that issue I say, fuck it. Live with your hair, lint is an accessory, who's to say the slick look isn't in, natural hair grease is nature's hair styling product, bed head is a fashion choice. Combing hair is too much effort.




The top 10 best reasons...to nap: all the reasons, life, sadness, politics, overwhelment, money issues coupled with unemployment guilt, pervasive feelings of doom, body ouchness, head too heavy to hold up, housework too hard so sleep good.

The top 10 places to nap: dark place, soft place, quiet place, in the room that used to be a bed room but is now a deep cave sleep crypt. On the couch, on the floor, in the car, in the bath. All the places. Is that 10? Counting is hard.

There, two top ten lists and a blog entry about beauty and fashion.

It's progress.


Comments

Brenda said…
Hey Meg,
No f’n way on the old spice. Still too much will to live for that. As for the rest,”Get outta my head”. 🤪

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