What else is there to say
I'm pretty close to cracking up.
My ability to function well enough is compromised and I am in danger of falling below a certain standard of acceptability.
There have been times when I've been so depressed that if breathing wasn't autonomic I wouldn't have bothered to keep up with the inhalations and exhalations. Too much effort. Too much trouble.
I'm not depressed, not really. But I am emotionally wrought, physically exhausted, and I feel as though I'm being swept away in a wash of what the fuck.
I feel like I've been pushing walls, or am I holding them up, I don't remember anymore what I'm doing.
After a while I get all numb and tired.
That's where I am tonight.
Something about Chet Baker. Makes me feel better. His voice even more than his playing moves me. It's very something...to try to describe it makes me sound like a bigger moron than I am. So I won't even go there. If you listen to this and you feel it, you know what I mean. If you don't, eh.