Thursday, February 14, 2013

The song that will keep my heart beating another day

There is music

What else is there to say

I'm pretty close to cracking up.

My ability to function well enough is compromised and I am in danger of falling below a certain standard of acceptability.

There have been times when I've been so depressed that if breathing wasn't autonomic I wouldn't have bothered to keep up with the inhalations and exhalations. Too much effort. Too much trouble.

I'm not depressed, not really. But I am emotionally wrought, physically exhausted, and I feel as though I'm being swept away in a wash of what the fuck.

I feel like I've been pushing walls, or am I holding them up, I don't remember anymore what I'm doing.

After a while I get all numb and tired.

That's where I am tonight.

Something about Chet Baker. Makes me feel better. His voice even more than his playing moves me. It's very try to describe it makes me sound like a bigger moron than I am. So I won't even go there. If you listen to this and you feel it, you know what I mean. If you don't, eh.


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