Skip to main content
I'm so nearsighted that when I take off my glasses I can't see anything.
I can't make out the facial features of those around me, can't see pictures on the wall.

The whole world is out of focus and frankly, it I feel adrift and a bit lost. 

I can see my hands if I hold them very close to my face, though.

When my glasses are off, I stare at my hands. It's strangely comforting.

The other evening I had taken off my glasses while sitting at the table talking with my daughter.

My daughter brought this weird hand staring thing to my attention, like a 13 year old daughter would.

Anyway, 
____________________________________________________________________________

thick knuckled
callused
from scrubbing
and sweeping
and lifting
and digging

have
bathed babies,
wiped bottoms,
wiped noses,
smoothed the damp hair of a fevered son and daughter,

have
reached down into
dark places
dirty toilets
clogged drains

are scarred
and marked

wedding ring slipped on my finger
when I was a different person
with different hands
holds my left ring finger like a belt cinched too tight.

Clenched to fists,
have pounded tables,
punched at doors,

Cupped,
have held water
have caressed the beloved curve of a beloved face

Fingers outstretched
reach toward
another hand
a small hand
a cool hand
to hold
to twine fingers
for a moment
before pulling away 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Just don't call me Late to Dinner

A friend recently asked if I was ever called Maggie or if I'd always been a Margaret. That got me thinking about my name. I hate my name.  Hate it. I have never liked my name. It seems fine to call other people Margaret. It sounds agreeable enough when I say hello to another Margaret. "Hello, Margaret!" I might say. And the name doesn't offend me. It doesn't make me recoil or wretch. It's just a name. And a fine name at that. But it's not for me. I don't feel like a Margaret. It doesn't fit me well.  Hangs off me all funny and weird. Can't ever seem to wear it comfortably. I don't like to be called by name. Frankly, it makes me feel sort of sick.  When I was a chubby 3rd grader I decided I wanted to go by a nickname.   Peggy. I wrote it in my clumsy curly cursive on the front inside cover of my books.   I said it out loud to myself in the mirror. Peggy. Peggy! I liked it. First of all Peg...

possible blog material

possible blog posts for blogtober: 15 things you don't know about my left nut: 1. I don't have a left nut 2.  I do not even have a right nut As I can only get to #2, this idea needs fleshing out before I commit to it. Hahaha...fleshing out.  some things you don't know about my cat 1. I have a cat 2. she's a cat  3. she does cat things 4. she shits in a box   15 things I want to change about myself 1. fuck this shit 2. seriously 3. back off 4. you do not want to go down this path 5. really One billion (maybe this is too ambitious) observations made while sitting on the toilet  1. someone should really mop the floor  2. I need to get some new reading material in here,   3. I think the new Oprah magazine was in yesterday's mail  4. there are only so many times you can read about living your best life while sitting on the shitter  5. reading recipes while using the bathroom is sort of we...

Thinking about my son, jail, near death experiences, and hoping for the future

It's disconcerting when your 9 year old son asks if there are any jails in town that he could tour. My first thought, naturally enough, was that my son was planning a life of crime and wanted to see where he'd be spending 5-8 years of his life. But then I took comfort in the realization that my son is a dear darling boy who absolutely can not think past this moment. THIS moment. THIS MOMENT. He is the boy who tried to pick up fire, the boy who tried to put the knife in the toaster, the boy who ate his entire chocolate Advent calender in one sitting, never contemplating for a second what would happen next. The look of surprise and hurt after the touching fire thing was heart breaking. He was utterly disconsolate on December 2nd when he found he had no more candy and would have to watch his sister eat her stale misshapen chocolate stockings, stars, and bells, one each morning, for 24 days, in front of his very eyes. He was completely dumbfounded not not just a lit...