Stationary Unicycle

"Thigh gap"? WTF?  Okay. I'm going to go out on limb and say some stuff:  Some women have skinny legs and that's just fine.  The majority of women do not can and should never try to achieve this "thigh gap" thing. I've been dangerously skinny and I NEVER attained the coveted thigh gap. I could count every rib and still, no gap. Fuck that. What is it with folks that we start to sexualize and fetishize a body part that is actually actually an absence, really seriously just empty space?  We're talking negative space , boys and girls, which is  a completely mind-blowing concept when you learn about it in 3rd grade art class, however in real life, given a choice between existing or being negative space, I think corporeal is better.   Here's an example of what I'm talking about; behold the delectable doughnut. Do you enjoy eating a doughnut or do you prefer eating the space in the middle that is not there, the doughnut gap?  I'm all a...

Today's suggested blog writing prompt has something to do with my favorite Halloween costume from my childhood. Other writers have done this and done it better than I ever could. That said, let's jump into the fray. I was a kid such a long ago that I don't remember much about it.  Because I was a kid who couldn't really sit still for long, all of the daguerreotypes of me in my Halloween costumes are too blurry to make out. This is just as well considering that I was raised in an era before there was any sensitivity shown to anyone and racial and ethnic stereotypes were considered appropriate Halloween attire. I confess that on October 31st I still have this strange urge to black out my front teeth with my mother's eyebrow pencil. Periodontal disease is part of any good Halloween costume. Am I right?  Anyway, enough about costumes, let's talk about something more cheery, shall we? I remember carving pumpkins with my family. Those are happy memories. Actual...

So today makes day three of the BlogHer NaBloPoMo. Cough. Excuse me. And the prompt for today is,  Will you dress up for Halloween? What will you be? No, I will not dress up for Halloween and so I will be what I am every day of the year: a snide, angry, short, wide, glib, sarcastic woman. Scary. All this writing is physically and emotionally exhausting. Creatively I feel as though I've stretched and grown these past 3 days. Looking forward to tomorrow. And with that, I'm all caught up with this daily blog challenge and I promise to put aside Madam Snide-y Pants and try to blog nice.

What's with the "our" in favorite and flavor BlogHer? I'm still not up to playing nice but my friends, if I have any friends, know I'm a cranky gal. Please note that in yesterday's post I referred to the day as October the One-th and today is October the two-th. I did this on purpose. Just in cases there was any question. So what's my favorite autumnal flavor? I know you all want to know. My favorite autumnal flavor is: my own salty tears. God bless and God speed. I'm off to the time machine, set the dial to Tomorrow/Today. I can't wait! How about you?

Let's pretend to go back in time. Let's pretend today is October the One-th. Hello beautiful October, you  gorgeous month, you. Today's BlogHer prompt is to write about my favorite thing about autumn. I'm sure you are all waiting with baited breath to know what my personal favorite thing about autumn is. Aren't you?! NO?!  This is why I don't play with other people, because quite frankly I'm sort of a meanie. First BlogHer spells favorite like "favourite" which is snobby and annoying unless of course the BlogHer blogger is British and who knows, maybe she is in which case I look like a jerk. And second of all, I feel suddenly like I'm back in school. I'm torn between thinking, I can do a good job and get an A on this essay and thinking screw this crap, let's cut class and go smoke in the woods behind the school. Not that I did that mind you, but my inner delinquent, a figment of my imagination, is always looking for opportun...